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Fantastic Finish in Thrilling Competition for Valley's Worst Board

by Bob Rice

Wow. Yahoo was just running out the clock in the finals of this year’s tournament when HP launched a furious comeback, sacking its first year CEO weeks after approving his plan to radically reshape the company (and instantly destroy a third of its market value).

The brilliant backflip nearly tied the competition, and this never-say-die group wasn’t done: after an extensive two-day search, it pulled off a magnificent “John Scully” just as time expired, giving the gasping hard-core tech company at a crucial strategic crossroads a CEO utterly devoid of relevant skills. Overtime!

But here’s why we love the game. Unfazed by losing the lead so late, the Yahoo board responded with an hilariously incomprehensible, buzzword-filled email to all 14,000 of its employees, explaining that Yahoo is possibly, sort of, for sale to “set the stage for our company’s next phase of growth” [!?]… just a few weeks after conducting an all-hands meeting to assure them of precisely the opposite.

This stunner was so impressive that interim CEO Tim Morse was forced to follow up with his own email, clarifying that the board’s missive “does not mean we are in limbo”.

And with that, the HP board graciously conceded defeat.